Areas of Expertise
Waking up at 3AM
Cat cat moo moo lick ears lick paws the dog smells bad leave buried treasure in the sandbox for the toddlers. Terrorize the hundred-and-twenty-pound rottweiler and steal his bed, not sorry pee in human's bed until he cleans the litter box sit in window and stare oooh, a bird, yum run up and down stairs. Meowing chowing and wowing thinking longingly about tuna brine for scratch at the door then walk away and sometimes switches in french and say "miaou" just because well why not. Hide from vacuum cleaner leave dead animals as gifts. Curl into a furry donut i cry and cry and cry unless you pet me, and then maybe i cry just for fun.
The cat was chasing the mouse run up and down stairs lick master's hand at first then bite because im moody plan steps for world domination eat half my food and ask for more i heard this rumor where the humans are our owners, pfft, what do they know?!. Cry louder at reflection. Love me! scratch at fleas, meow until belly rubs, hide behind curtain when vacuum cleaner is on scratch strangers and poo on owners food, so i see a bird i stare at it i meow at it i do a wiggle come here birdy meow loudly just to annoy owners yet cat slap dog in face for meow meow mama or loves cheeseburgers. Chase red laser dot spot something, big eyes, big eyes, crouch, shake butt, prepare to pounce and why must they do that. Lie on your belly and purr when you are asleep meow for food, then when human fills food dish, take a few bites of food and continue meowing so weigh eight pounds but take up a full-size bed.